Iran[edit this page]
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iRan
The Free Secular Democratic People's Republic of iRan
The Apple iRan
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "For Shah and Country"
Anthem: "Iran So Far Away" by A Flock of Seagulls
Capital Tehrangeles
Largest city TheyRan
Official languages Persian, Twitter, Blog, informal Persian
Government Anti Arabic Republic of Anti Jew
National Hero(es) Xerxes The Great, Darius The Great, Cyrus The Great
Declaration
of Independence Always
Currency Oil (ريال),Non Nuclear Weapons !!!
Religion Worshiping of dead Arabs that Living Arabs don't like a.k.a. Shia Islam (65%) Worshiping of dead Jew that living Jews don't like aka Christianity (30%), Hindus (0.02%), Jewish (4.98%), Bahai (officially non-existent)
Major exports Persian rugs, Turkic rugs, Oil, Ak-47, Explosions, Prince of Persia the game (gamecube only), International Students, and Jewish corpses,w/ PhD., Smart People, Nut Cases
Major imports Counterfeit Sony-Ericsson, Hyundai azera, Golden toyota prado
“We only have two exports-Pistachio nuts and massive international ill-feeling.”
~ Omid Djalili on Iran.
“This isn't my fault.”
~ Ahmedinejad
“I hear it's lovely this time of war.”
~ Oscar Wilde
“And Iran... Iran's so far awaaaaaaaaay!”
~ A Flock of Seagulls
“Today, Iran! Tomorrow, North Korea!”
~ The United States on world domination
iRan (Curvy Lines: رأس نووي في العالم Nuclear Capital of the World, Persian: سرزمین بین دو جنگ The Land Between Two Wars, and Turkish: Gelecekteki Amerikan Savaş Bölgesi Future American War Zone) is the superest, most non-nuclear, peace-loving, and un-nuclear of the non-nuclear superpowers in the world. It has more young, beautiful girls per capita than the puny Zionist enemy of Israel. Also, it is definitely not enriching weapons-grade uranium; and even if it were, it's totally allowed to. In addition, Iran boasts some of the best freedom of the press and freedom of assembly in the world. It also offers the most religiously tolerant living in the whole world. It does not not kill Sunnis and Tehran is full of Sunni mosques. Jews, Baloch and Arab minorities have significant representation in the government. Iranian mullahs preach love and peace. Finally, it does not have a nuclear weapon program, nor did it ever have, does have, will have, or plan to have any kind of program for any kind of weapon that is at all or will ever be nuclear. Ever. For these reasons, Allah selected Iran to guide the world away from Zionism and toward spiritual purity. Everyone else would like to know where to get crack as good as the shit Mr. Ahmanineenaenajaadd [sic] got. If the United States of America runs out of people to blow up, Iran is next on the list. Shame on US and A for invading innocent countries who mind their own business and happen to all shoot at protesters, beat journalists, and threaten their neighbors.
Contents
[hide]
* 1 Facts and Figures
* 2 Education
* 3 Technology
* 4 Nuclear Bunnies Programme
* 5 Iranian Space Program
* 6 Quality of Life
* 7 Homosexuality in Iran
* 8 History of Iran
o 8.1 Twentieth Century History
* 9 Polity and Key Figures in Iran's Leadership
o 9.1 Electoral Fraud
* 10 Censorship
* 11 US Invasion of Iran
* 12 See also
* 13 Iran-Island Web links:
[edit] Facts and Figures
* The population of Iran is exactly 100% lurs
* Name origin - "The guy was a suicide bomber so I ran like hell."
* Average Annual Precipitation - More than what your mother gets in bed.
* Land area - Whatever the Supreme Leader commands
* Homosexuals - "HOMOSEXUALS?; We don't have any!" - not living anyway
* Allies - North Korea, Russia, China, Turkey, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Germany Brazil
* Favorite Color - Blood of martyrs
* Favorite Food - Fragrant rice, Cholo-kabab
* National Villain - Their president
* National Defender - The Immortals
* Average Span of Rulers - Indefinite
* National Pastimes - Playing prince of Persia and declaring war on the western world FTW!
* Worst Enemies - Israel
* Other Enemies - Surprisingly the Taliban
* Most Favorite European - Adolf Hitler, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
* Least Favorite European - Margaret Thatcher, Shah of Iran, Stalin, Jimmy Carter
* Funniest Iranians - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad; Mashaee
* National Currency - Persian rugs YOU can't afford and some Iranium.
* Least favorite country - The one everyone hates.
* The first country to outlaw hotdogs, for fear that they contain penises in the unknown mixture.
* President Ahminajad proven to be the missing link in the theory of evolution.
* According to AIPAC the Jews of Iran are numbered exactly at 10,500. The same institution claims it's very hard to get a figure out of the Islamic republic and even harder to get an estimation based on the Jews of tehran , shiraz and hamedan; and elsewhere nowadays.
[edit] Education
Mr. I'mmanude Ineedtojihad shows how many nuclear bombs he has.
RangeleyAdded by Rangeley
There are much signs of education in Iran. However, most of the Supreme Leaders are illiterate.
There are very few subjects taught at school, therefore the few that are taught are learned by the students to new extremes. Subjects taught can be categorized in the following fields: atomic energy, nuclear physics, projectiles and particle dynamics, warfare and Jewbashing. All other subjects are related one way or another to those mentioned in the specified categories. One notable example of scientific advancement, announced by the truthful, holocaust-denying president himself, was the discovery and production of nuclear energy by a 13 year old schoolgirl... no, sorry, that'd too big a lie, she was 16. Phew. Now it's believable. In truth, she is 19.
Iran is world renowned for their holocaust denial programs throughout their University system. One particular science class loosely translated: "The Jews were never made into soap", proves these facts scientifically. Shame on US and A for doing the Zionists' dirty work by spreading the myth of the Holocaust to justify the occupation of al-Quds!
[edit] Technology
The new iRan from Apple coming out this holiday season.
SimRabbit123Added by SimRabbit123
Iran is actively using and developing advanced technologies in energy and other fields. Since oil is generally regarded as obsolete relic of the early industrial revolution (and therefore sold away cheaply to the world market), Iran concentrates on developing most sophisticated nuclear energy plants. Hence the creation of the Iranian Foundation for the Advancement of the Atom. This was in direct alignment to the progressive policies of the Iranian government, which in turn was always encouraged by Iran's best friend and ally, the United States. Shame on US and A for helping its proxies around the world!
[edit] Nuclear Bunnies Programme
The Jews have a profound love for Mr. Ahmadinejaad
90s Kid21Added by 90s Kid21
A great deal of hype and propaganda has come from the little Satan (Israel), the Great Satan (America), and the Greatest Satan (Israel) about Iran's non-existent, alleged, and totally absent and non-existent "nuclear" "weapons" "programme." Such a program does not and could not exist; the Ayatollah said so himself, and he is the emissary of Allah on earth. So I think he would know.
The I.A.E.A. (Israeli-American Empire Association), also known as the International Atomic Energy Association, is a mouthpiece for Zionist propaganda, and anyway they have confirmed that not only does Iran not have a nuclear weapons program (which we don't, and anyway, we would deserve it if we did because the US gets to have them), but that Iran has been 100% cooperative and forthright about our nuclear program, which by the way, doesn't exist, and certainly not for military purposes even if it did. Every few months or so we get a very friendly letter from the I.A.E.A. informing us that they will come to inspect a pre-designated nuclear site (which isn't even nuclear, that's Zionist imperial arrogance; and even if it were, it's not military in dimension). They show up and start asking meddling questions that demonstrate conclusively to us that they are brainwashed by disrespectful Jewish-American lies about Iran's alleged nuclear intentions, such as "If this room is just a janitor's closet, how come it has highly enriched isotopes all over it?" So we tell them, "Don't worry, man, it's cool," so they smile and write down our answer and walk away. See? Not even the Zionist enterprise can find an iota of evidence that indicates that our non-nuclear uranium enrichment facilities in Natanz and Qom are nuclear, or military, or illegal. In fact, they don't even exist. There are no cities called Natanz and Qom. Those are Israeli fabrications.
In fact, I would encourage you benighted American sheeple to check out for yourself the latest IAEA report on our not nuclear not weapons not programme, which described our cooperation as "...Not good enough..." Guess you shouldn't believe everything your dishonest, propagandistic, Jewish, corporate media tells you.
Also, Israel has nuclear weapons too, so if you care about our nuclear weapons (which we don't have) but don't care about Israel's then that makes you a racist Zionist pig who hates all Palestinian people everywhere.
Sean Connery, shown here during his time as Supreme Leader of Iran. Work in Hollywood was scarce in the 1980's, so many actors diversified their work.
PtcamnAdded by Ptcamn
Still not convinced? Okay, let's scattershot a few more compelling arguments and see what sticks:
* Iran is religiously tolerant theocracy because we have a Jewish, Christian and Zoroastrian member of parliament. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
* We have not invaded another country for 200 years. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
* America wrongly invaded Iraq and Afghanistan. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
* America caused the financial crisis. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
* America caused global warming. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
* Israel wrongly invaded Gaza and is occupying Palestine. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
* America is the only country that has used a nuclear bomb in war. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
* Noam Chomsky says that America is a failed state. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
* It was America who overthrew Mohammad Mossadegh (a secular social-democrat just like our current leaders) in 1953. Therefore we don't have a nuclear weapons program, and anyway, we deserve one.
In conclusion, Iran does not have and does not seek nuclear weapons. Anything that bears a coincidental resemblance to a nuclear weapons program is in fact a peaceful civilian nuclear bunnies program (to produce medical isotopes). Shame on US and A for spreading these malicious Zionist lies.
[edit] Iranian Space Program
The launch of the above Iranian space orbiter was confirmed by NASA on February of 2009. Note the size of the escorting helicopters relative to the magnitude of the project.
MarkchungAdded by Markchung
Iran has launched its first domestically built satellite into orbit in February of 2009. They can now bombard any given coordinate of the world with Cholew-Kebab utilizing this domestically developed space technology!In the year 2044, the Supreme Leader will get exiled by his evil twin brother Kwan, who works for the Sith. The Supreme leader will fly to Jupiter. The Iranians have also recently invented the super-technologically advanced iRan. It features several remote controlled rocket launchers, a machine gun, and a fully-charged bazooka. "I asked my scientists to invent this because I hate it when those UN officials disrupt my music-time," the angry President rambled when interviewed about personal interests, "And I'm going to use it on you if you don't leave."
The UN had reportedly wondered and investigated how an Islamic country could enrich Uranium and were horrified to find that it is in fact Ahminajad's cum that starts the chemical reaction. Shame on US and A for doubting the magnificence of our dear leader's seed!
[edit] Quality of Life
According to the HDI index which ranges from 0.00 to 1.00, with most equaling -2 North Korean money, or Hwongonmybong. . The quality of life in Iran is 0.79, but it is a perfect 1.00 for the Supreme Leader who is considered an exemplar Iranian by all. The failure of average Iranians to follow this example and lead obscenely rich lives, however, has led to much bewilderment among economists. Shame on US and A for oppressive economic embargoes that are affecting GDP of Iran!
[edit] Homosexuality in Iran
Few dare speak words about homosexuality in iRan, lest the Grand Pubah, Allah, (may his name be cursed) be affronted. Ironically, it is this fictional "god," Allah, who does not exist, whereas, homosexuality is rampant among iRanians, especially among the Palace Guard. Mahmoodi Ahmanineedajob, the current President, and stern 12'er, vehemently denies that any of the populace of iRan could be gay...at least for long. True, there are no gay bars in iRan but this is due more to a lack of alcohol than willingness to have them. Professor Ahmed Fared of Theyran University notes in an extensive rant that the alleged absence of gays is a cover-up by the fascist Government. He argues that gay homicide bombers would swarm to the cause were they promised 70 male virgins in Paradise. Too, the US of A (aka Big Satan), has banned all leather sex toys, double dildos and KY Jelly for the express purpose of not inflicting further deviance to the morally bankrupt country.
[edit] History of Iran
Iran? THIS IS PERSIA!!!! Get your facts straight, bitch!
Vermelho batutaAdded by Vermelho batuta
Located to the east, south-east corner of middle-earth, the current leader of Iran is Ayatollah-II prince of darkness. The area we know today as Iran was called "Purrrrsia," in ancient times because the country's founder, Miley Cyrus the Extremely Undeniably Great, invented an early form of kitten huffing. The name was later Anglicized to "Persian" and then shortened again to "Iran".
Iran was originally a state in a much larger country called Weran. Weran was comprised of several states that are today their own independent nations. For example, the country known today as Turdmenistan was at one time a state in Weran known as Theyran.
Theyran was named that to mark and celebrate the running of the Greek soldiers from the advancing Persian army during the first Marathon run in 500 BC. The modern name for this celebrated city is Tehran.
Modern day Kuwait was known as Sheran and modern day Iraq was known as Rerun. Eventually, however, Weran was broken up in The Great Running War.
[edit] Twentieth Century History
In 1905 Reza Shah Pahlavi (a.k.a. Khoda Beyamorzi) was forced by a broad coalition of clerics, bazaar merchants, and students to introduce broad reforms. Eventually, he buckled, and a new constitution was drafted. For some reason, it was modeled after the constitution of Belgium. This all changed, however, when in 1951 Prime Minister Mohammad Mossadegh led a democratic coup against the shah. After taking power, Mossadegh led a campaign of nationalistic reforms which culminating in the nationalization of the Anglo Iranian oil company. Great Britain, which naturally had more claim to Iranian oil than Iran, convinced the US government that Mossadegh was a communist and therefore needed to be replaced with a more suitable nationalist.
The Ayatollah before(left) and after(right) his 1979 resurrection by the Devil
Typhoon761Added by Typhoon761
Meanwhile, after being resurrected by the Devil himself after considerable torture in a large green lighted underworld similar to a continuous orgy, The Ayatollah, formerly known as Saruman the lord of Isengard, was given his new title (the Ayatollah) by the Devil, and was instructed to lead an evil revolution in Iran which resulted in millions fleeing the country. After a decade or so of evil doings in Iran, the Ayatollah was called back to the depths of hell by the Devil once again as he was creating too much competition for the Devil; He was quite frankly making the Devil look bad (less evil actually) by comparison.
In 1980, Iran went to war with Iraq, insisting that disgruntled employee Saddam 'Da Man' Hussein had changed the region's name from Iran to Iraq in order to steal some sand by pretending it was a whole other country. Eight years later, several million teenagers were dead, and no one had conquered the sand. The UN declared the sand the winner. This event was recently repeated by US and British forces attempting to steal the same expanse of sand, but the granulated earth has proved too resolute in the face of conflict.
[edit] Polity and Key Figures in Iran's Leadership
Current Political system in Iran
KikimoraAdded by Kikimora
The official form of Iranian Government is crazyashellkillthejewsdeathtoisrealism.
Iran is officially ruled by President I'mmanude Ineedtojihad , (although many senior GOP senators believe it to be pronounced oochnidunijed), but much of the power rests with his lover, former President Khatami. The guardian council also plays some sort of role. Iran has become a world leader in homosexual rights, with same-sex marriage not only permitted, but required by law (see: gay rights in Iran).
Secretary of Tourism Ahdahmi Muhummod-ibn-Jafar is noteworthy for increasing tourism by over 3% when he changed Iran's official Department of Tourism slogan from "Stay a while... stay FOREVER!" to the more inviting "Even the lip service is compulsory!"
The unelected leadership of Iran (Note: This is a point of dispute, as the government of Iran insists God put them there), constantly promises its citizens heaven and earth literally, without any proof. If someone ever dares to ask a questions in regards to their authority, the nearest Mullah/Ayatolla normally start babbling verses from Quran in Arabic which no one in Iran understands before issuing a death sentence to the person asking the question.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President of Iran, has proven himself time and time again to be overwhelmingly popular, recently winning re-election with 110% of the popular vote.
Iran's one and only political party is the ISJFA (Iran Shall Jihad For Allah) party, which maintains a political ideology of authoritarianism and enriching uranium so that Israel may be destroyed by the holy fire of Allah (aka ICBMs).
Contrary to what the Devil-Jew media may tell you, Democracy is alive and well in the Islamic Republic. The concept of "one man, one vote" is one of Iran's most honored traditions. In the recent election, for example, all Iranians were free to vote for one man.
[edit] Electoral Fraud
None. President Ahmadinejad has repeatedly refuted allegations of voting irregularities, In response to evidence of excessive balloting (which gave him the 110% victory), he insisted 'fraudulence never happened' and therefore protesters must be wiped off the streets. However, after calls to cease violence against opposition protesters, he simply noted that 'we don't have protesters in Iran'. Shame on US and A for its slanderous insults against perfectly non-corrupt and legit electoral commission of Iran!
[edit] Censorship
In the name of Allah, the use of the name of the Islamic Republic of Iran in this paragraph is prohibited. Shame on US and A for objecting to Iran's use of state censorship!
[edit] US Invasion of Iran
The Iranian nuclear program was more advanced than first suspected.
Reality's AuditorAdded by Reality's Auditor
Since the Iranian nuclear program is observed to be growing at a rapid pace, well beyond what the Jews who control the US government had thought was possible, there is rumors that a US invasion of iran is inevitable. However, the US is stuck in Iraq and Afghanistan, and therefore is missing the required manpower to engage Iran militarily. The Iranians themselves on the other hand, do not fear the American government because they keep being told by the Ayatollah that the invisible Imam is on their side which is all a crock of crap designed to fool the Iranian people. The invisible Imam, Imam Mahdi, is Shia's twelfth and final Imam, who is said to have disappeared in the shit-hole of an outhouse (known in Iran as, 'Mostaraab'!) when he was six years old. He is supposed to come out of the hiding from the shit-hole all nicely pickled when U.S. invades Iran. Although there is one big concern, will Arnold Schwarzenegger join the U.S. army?! If so then the Iranians will become worried because even Osama Bin Laden himself claimed that he feared Arnold the Great. Lara Croft is also one of the Yankees the Iranians fear. She has proved her military talents in Tomb Raider 1,2, & 3. Although Ahmadinejad being on Iran side would be a force for the Israeli's to reckon with. Although note that the Jews would love the news of war or even just simple tension with Iran, because the Jewish oil futures speculators,
The Iraqi information minister is seen here quoted as saying "No way the U.S. is gonna invade Iran."
Typhoon761Added by Typhoon761
in cooperation with the North American oil companies love to use this excuse to suck people out of their money. This is yet another reason why the Jews love president Ahmadinejaad. There is also rumors that Rambo might join the Iranian Green Beret forces due to his spite for the U.S. federal policy. That could also tilt the tide of war... Rambo versus Arnold would be cool to watch for sure ...
The Iranians have begun an intensive weapons program, arming their soldiers with dustbin lids and oars, allowing them to lull the dumb-as-fuck U.S. troops into thinking they're watching 300, allowing the Iranians to get close enough to hit the Troops, hopefully giving them a headache before being blown to tiny bits. The situation was antagonized when a bunch of Iranians in row boats armed with pea shooters threatened to destroy the U.S.'s orbiting battle station of doom by throwing rocks at it. The CIA reports that Iran has developed atomic weapons capable of destroying a house of cards at 20 yards, and emitting radiation strong enough to give anyone within three yards a slight itch in the crotch. Clearly this madness must end. Shame on US and A for ending the madness!
[edit] See also
Iran always was a spearhead of technical progress.
NaturalBornKielerAdded by NaturalBornKieler
* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
* Zoroaster
* Iran-Iraq War
* Middle East
* Shah Abbas the Great
* Persia
* Iranian
* Zorro
* Mazda
* Foucault
* Israeli Self-Destruction
* Prince of Persia
[edit] Iran-Island Web links:
Further reaching infos about the secluded and isolated Island of Iran
* Official page of the prince of Birjand - the independent, self appointed Consul - reporting about the Wonderful Island of the Hearts
* Island in the Nexus
Middle East Countries
Bahrain | Cyprus | Egypt | Gaza Strip | Iraq | Iran | Israel | Jordan | Kuwait | Lebanon | Oman | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | Turkey | United Arab Emirates | Yemen
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